Ask most couples that claim they have had a happy married life (to the same person) for zillions of years and they might tell you the secrets of their success. Here are 10 such like snippets of advice.
1. Treat every outing as your first date.
Even when you are married and settled you can surprise your partner with a flirty text or two, and ask them out on a date. Ask them what their innermost thoughts are. This fresh approach helps to keep your relationship fun and spicy. Take each other on dates all the time and it will help keep the romance alive.
2. Talk about it
Things don’t always run smoothly. You will both have bad days, may get grumpy and you don’t feel like talking. But if you have a niggling problem chances are it will only get worse if you don’t talk about it, or listen to the problem-teller. If you don’t talk at all the problem will never go away.
3. Share jobs around the house.
She likes doing some chores which you don’t. He has his preferences too. Avoid establishing HIS or HER jobs, but generate an environment where you both muck in. It reinforces the team that you are.
4. Say please and thank you.
Some people think that politeness is un-cool and old-hat, but in a relationship, after the passing of time, you can reach a point where you might take each other for granted. Polite actions and words, from the heart, and most of the time (not just when you want something) can really establish some important bonds, and results can be amazing. Good manners ensures that your spouse knows you are grateful for what they do for you.
5. Cuddles and hugs.
Don’t be too frugal with cuddles and hugs, light kisses and gentle touches. Avoid the often “pre-curser of sex” actions and leave it at a simple, non committal gesture to say you love them and think about them.
6. Surviving the angry times.
Nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes, and too often we hurt the ones we love. If you’re really pissed off with them, sit back and think about how you can mend the situation. Do the right thing to help put things right again. It’s not always easy and the passage of time, getting to know how they tick, will teach you the best way. I always use the “Fancy a cuppa” routine. When all fails, try to consider all the positives and negatives together and your relationship will endure.
7. Keep yourself fit and attractive.
Just because you are married and “caught in that trap” it takes work to avoid “letting yourself go”. Just because you are married simply isn’t an option. Working out and keeping up appearances once in a while gives you more confidence and makes you feel attractive, sexy and wanted. It’s especially important if you have periods apart from each other, and it shows you care.
8. Keeping it intimate.
You go out on dates, you fall in love and you get married. For the first few months you are like rabbits and at-it all the time. For many folks the novelty wears off. Some couples tell me it never wears off – even after 50 or so years, but I suspect that is bravado talking. You need to make sure that the fires of love keep burning. Make an effort to create some romance (but look out for the no-no signs and maybe go back to plan A). Tips to subtly ignite some passion are to sneak a few little kisses, light candles, make the bedroom feel inviting – move books, dirty washing and other distractions out of sight. If intimacy dies, one of you may be tempted to go and find it elsewhere.
9. Make time for your own interests.
Not many couples can manage a 24/7 daily, weekly, monthly, annually, continual sharing of each others waking (and sleeping) hours. You may just drive each other crazy. You need to make room for your spouse to do their own thing and for you to do yours. Get the level right though – men should not be out with mates every night, or even regularly. Likewise a woman should not be out and away from her man too much. No two couples are the same, so you need to get just the right balance of time apart that suits both of you. Always remember that each of you are the most important person in your lives.
10. Your spouse is your everything.
Marriage is a commitment and something you don’t enter into lightly (yes, you probably heard those words during your ceremony). Always make your partner number one, the light of your life, the only one you love, for ever and ever, Amen. Don’t slip on this one and you’ll find that love and marriage are the best thing in the world.
Being married teaches you many lessons of life. No matter how long you are married, you will continue to learn. There may be trouble ahead – mistakes, pleasure, hard times, good times and pure heaven. Get the most out of it and you will both live happy ever after.
|Don't tell lies - Francis - Geek-love founder.|